Malesh

In front of me is a chubby little baby sitting on her mother's lap.  She grins back at me after I give her a smile.  She doesn't understand me at all, but the grin is universal.

"Are you going to be a brave girl, just like your mother?"

I select a finger.  Thumb and forefinger are for you, I'll pick the next one.  She drools a bit and offers a small amount of babble.

"Malesh," I say.  I'm sorry.

I stick her finger with a pin prick, and the pain takes a moment to settle in.  In the calm before the storm, I watch her blood well up into a tiny red bead.  I hope for more.

The screaming hits.  She has realized that she is hurt.

"Khalas," I say.  Finished.

That doesn't make her feel any better.  Now the thrashing starts, but I'm ready for it.  My firm grip on her hand doesn't let that slowly-growing red bead get dislodged.  A bit more pressure, almost like milking, results in a sufficient sized droplet.

She is making the most noise of anyone of the hundreds of people here.

I swoop in quickly and siphon up the blood into the pipette, nodding to the mother to press the alcohol pad to her daughter's fingertip.  I turn away and disappear from the little girl's world, to insert the blood sample into the rapid diagnostic test, add the reagent, prepare the next test, and stick the next innocent child waiting on this bench in this particular health center in this corner of South Sudan.

I'm at a mobile clinic, as the field logistician for this activity, which at this point in the day means supernumerary.  Contrary to being just a face in a crowd, I am a free agent.  In the last hour, I have been drafted to take blood pressure, purify water, subdue fights, direct patients, administer medicine, and recruit translators.  Everyone calls me 'doctor.'  Right now, I am screening patients for malaria after they have been consulted by our team's doctor.  I change my gloves because the old pair is bloody, but the new pair sticks and is really hard to get on.  I'm sure there's a trick to putting on gloves with sweaty hands, but I will figure that out on my second day.